Reflecting on the last few years...

Being pregnant was one of the most confusing and exciting times of my life. I became overly aware of my body and the precious life growing inside of me. I tried to anticipate what life would be like as a family of three, what kind of mother I would be and what kind of parents Justin and I would be together. We bought everything we thought we would need. I did lots of reading in hopes of being prepared. Parenting is not something you can fully prepare for. Although the reading does help a bit. Even the uninvited advice is irrelevant until you are holding your baby in your arms. I really believe Justin either had an odd sense of confidence or really knew ahead of time parenthood was not something you can understand before hand. He did not worry about which brand of diapers, rather Alexa had a bumper in her crib or if they hospital bag was packed two months ahead of time.

The first few months of parenting are full of giving your new delicate baby everything she needs. Every little sound means you jump to your feet and try to resolve whatever discomfort she may have. As time goes on your eagerness to cater to your growing baby slows a bit. Now that I have a self feeding, independent playing toddler things have really changed. Instead of feeling like Alexa was the strange, new exciting thing in our lives it feels more like she is one of the family. We do not make decisions and then factor in Alexa. We make decisions with Alexa in the back of our mind without effort. She is now a permanent part of our lives and it feels good.

At this time two years ago I was confident that I was having a son. In fact his name was going to be Lucas. I referred to him by his name in posts and was really excited about all the boy things head of us. On April 15Th, 2010 we found out the son we never really had was actually our future daughter. I wish I could say we were filled with nothing but excitement. However we were both in shock. I remember standing outside the room asking Justin if he was excited. He said he was but it felt odd. Those confused feeling went away rather quickly. The next day we saw "Alexa" on a 4D ultrasound. From that day forward the idea of having a daughter was a dream come true for a dream I never knew I had.

Now that Alexa is well into the toddler years I have an endless craving for our mother/daughter relationship. Every time she wants her toe nails painted, bows put in her hair or just the cute like cues my heart melts. I instantly go back to the moment when I found out I was having a daughter and it makes everything worth it. I do not want to sound naive about the future. I do know we will have our ups and downs. However I know there will be lots of great memories and lots of love to go around. Having a daughter is one of my greatest prides.

The fear of raising my daughter to be everything I want her to be is also scary. There is no single manual that says if you do x,y & z you will raise a confident, successful, loving girl inside and out. Every interaction I have with her is shaping who she will be for the rest of her life. The daycare I put her in, the meals I cook her, the shows she watches on TV all have an impact on who Alexa Cox will be. The daunting task of raising a daughter is not something I take lightly. Wanting the best life for my daughter also requires me to put myself in the backseat. Although I would love to keep Alexa all to myself I know that is not what is best for her. I know spending time at school, time with family without me and time with other adults will help prepare her for her life outside of nursery rhymes and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I know I have to take her to get shots, teach her boundaries and even how to use the potty. But how do we know that we are doing enough? There is no parenting report card and self reflection is not something I am an expert in.

So far now I will continue to love my daughter with all my heart. I will pray about every aspect of parenting. I will read the enormous amount of parenting books and even wish on 11:11. And yes Alexa, it is all worth it.

18 Months Old (1.5 years)

The month started off with a visit from Justin's Mom (Nana) and her husband David (Pepere). Alexa did not take long to warm up to them. She enjoyed showing them her toys, Mickey Mouse & even went outside to play with Nana. It was a relatively uneventful weekend. Alexa did have one big fall off of the slide which led to a little panic from all of us. She ended up OK but threw up a few times that evening.

Alexa really started enjoying fruit this weekend. She had several pieces of strawberries, pineapple & of course her grapes. Daddy can get her to eat kiwi & even slices of apples.

Alexa is starting to make small sentences. She says things like "My... (Mickey for example)." She now responds more to us when we ask questions. If we ask her if she wants her breakfast she will nod her head yes & walk to the high chair. He started to get into the habit of saying "night night" to all the babies in the stairway on our way to bed. Of course Alexa does not realize they are all pictures of her. She now waves to them & even gives some of the kisses. Its super cute but kind of strange.

The last weekend in February was yet another warm one. This winter has been crazy warm. I am a little sad that we were not able to experience a snow day or Alexa playing in the snow for the first time. On a positive note it may have helped us eliminate any extra sicknesses and dangers the winter can cause. Any who.. we spent the weekend making the most of the weather. We had Ariel with us for most of the weekend. This made it a bit more challenging but still a lot of fun. We took both girls to our friends birthday party for her 7 year old daughter. The party was at Play, Bounce & Jump. The girls enjoyed the toddler area but insisted on visiting the big kid area too. Alexa especially enjoyed the VERY large slide rides with Daddy & Ariel enjoyed seeing us through the nets on the smaller bounce houses. Both girls ate some birthday cake and ended the afternoon with a really long nap. That evening we took them out for some Chinese food. The girls mostly at fruit, veggies & some noodles.

On Sunday we took Alexa to do the zoo. I was trying to get Alexa to repeat the animal names and sounds to me. Recently she has gotten really shy with using her words. We did get her to make a rather awesome ROAR for the lions. She enjoyed the Meercats & the Squirrel Monkeys the best. We were able to ride the carousel & tram out to Africa. We were not able to make the train this time but I am certain we will be going back soon.

Alexa is finishing up her last month in the nursery. This is really sad for me. I prefer for Alexa to get the nurturing and loving environment of a nursery over a more structured toddler room. I think the transition will be just as hard on me. Alexa's class room (Butterfly) has recently started having 2 different male teachers rotate in to cover breaks. Alexa is not having it. The are both very nice people and love the children. Alexa has not had a lot of male interaction in the last year and a half. Sometimes she will take to males and other times she will cry her little heart out. Hopefully this will get easier as time progresses. Daddy of course does not find this a problem at all. ;)

The first weekend in March was VERY low key for us. We spent most of Saturday in our PJ's just time as a family. We did however go out for some more Chinese food. Alexa had her first fortune cookie. The phrase was super lame.

This month we started another round of swim lessons. Our first lesson was just Buggy I & but Daddy joined us on the second one. Alexa is starting to take direction from her teacher & LOVES to splash. When we practice jumping in the pool Alexa lights up. This is certainly her favorite part of the class. We are still working on getting her to be patient and wait until we count to three. I am not sure if she gets cold or just wants to jump. Either way its adorable & will improve with practice.

This month Alexa also attended her first promotion ceremony. She learned how to fist bump & wanted to practice it during the ceremony. Instead we went outside and played in the mud. We did our best to listen to Daddy as best we could. Alexa enjoyed some strawberries and running around with the other children afterwards. The next day we attended a party for Ford's promotion. Alexa was the only toddler there & she did awesome. She sat on their couch and watched Mickey Mouse for almost 2 hours. I am glad she allowed us to go out for a few hours and have some grown up time. This same weekend we also had baby Bennett over for a play date. Bennett is almost 1 year younger than Alexa. She is a very happy baby and Alexa enjoyed making her laugh. Alexa was a little jealous of Bennett sitting in her old kick and play. Alexa ended up getting a pacifier and sat in the kick in play. I think it was really her first time being around a baby outside of daycare. The cutest moment was when I was making Bennett smile, Alexa was laughing uncontrollably. She thought Mommy was being hilarious! Sunday afternoon we had our family photos taken. The pictures were Alexa's Easter & 18 month photos. She was having a rough time in the beginning but did awesome after a little milk and quiet time break.

This last week was another week of swim lessons. Alexa enjoyed the first 20 minutes but then got cold and wanted to get out. Of course we kept her in for the entire lesson anyways. Wednesdays lesson was more enjoyable for Alexa. I am not sure what the difference was but she was happier then Monday.


This month was also a big one for Alexa. We decided to buy Alexa a potty just so she could meet it and be comfortable around it. The first time I put her on it she thought it was funny. She put her toys in it, tried to stand in it and eventually got bored and walked away. The second time I put her on it she seemed to know what was expected of her. Within a few minutes she went #1 & then laughed. I made a HUGE deal out of it and she clapped. Within the first week she used the potty three times. I think we only put her on it 4-5 times total. We are going to work on the potty training on the weekends but not really stress about it during the week. Until she is fully transitioned into her room she cannot potty train at school. The last time I put Alexa on the toilet I went upstairs to drop off some laundry. When I came back down I found Alexa ~5ft away with her pants around her ankles and a small urine pile. I guess she got confused.


Alexa had her last well baby appointment. She was 30.5 inches & 21lbs 10oz. For some reason I am thinking he weigh was a little more but I do not remember for certain. Either way she is growing right on her little curve. She is 15% for weight & 30% for height. No complaints from this Momma. The doctor did decide to test Alexa for allergies. Since we have not been able to pin point the congestion she felt this was the next step. We have to wait an entire week to get the test results back.